Comb over Trump, Canada’s in the spotlight now

Grey and Critical Mass are offering Americans escape plans in the event of the brash candidate landing in the oval office.

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Remember when How I Met Your Mother would make fun of Robin for having Canadian blood running through her veins? The poor girl even lost her thick Canuck accent and limited herself to one proudly Canadian outburst a season, yet the characters always found a way to pass on judgement with an “Oh right, she’s from Canada, that’s why she’s the way she is” remark. The Americans would laugh, while we would reluctantly join.

Oh, how the tables have turned. Donald Trump is inching his way closer and closer to the oval office, and Americans are looking to jump borders in an escape to Canada. Look who’s laughing now, eh?

Okay, so Grey Canada and Critical Mass aren’t ones to rub it in (even though we clearly are), and they’re actually looking to help Americans in the event of a Trump Presidency.

Let’s start with Grey. The agency recently set up a microsite with a whole whack of free, safeguard legal clauses that people can use to protect themselves from the inevitable political and economic disaster that is expected to follow. There are various clauses, for various people, in various circumstances. Here are just a few (quick, jump to the site, print out and sign immediately, should any of these apply):

-  I’m taking a new job in the US. I want my moving expenses covered both ways if I quit.
-  I’m buying a new house in the US. I want the seller to pay me back half the forthcoming depreciation amount.
-  My long-distance boyfriend/girlfriend lives in the US. I want an out clause for a guilt-free, no-questions-asked break up.
-  I’m a US diplomat in a foreign country that’s been repeatedly insulted. I want 24-hour high security protection.

And as for Critical Mass, it’s in the same boat in terms of agreeing that Americans should move to Canada, specifically to the East Village area in downtown Calgary or Toronto’s Entertainment District, where its two Canadian offices are located. It’s appealing to scared Americans to apply for one of 30 positions its currently looking to fill in both locations, and is even offering up some tips on “What to expect from your new home” in the form of a Buzzfeed-style listicle.

Polite, arms-wide-open, totally naive and forgetful Canadians to the rescue.