The word “troll” is thrown around a lot these days, but sometimes it fits.

Yesterday, Arby’s sent out an open letter in the form of an actual press release (that can be seen on their website) addressing the vegetarians of America and apologizing for adding brown sugar bacon to its range of highly tempting meats. The letter then offers a show of solidarity in the form of a hotline vegetarians can call if they need help in powering through their cravings.

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If you’re curious about what awaits you when you call the number, we have that covered for you. Here’s what the automated phone system gives you if you press 1 because you feel the temptation to eat bacon is too strong:

Not the most helpful. Here’s what you get for pressing 2 and identifying as someone who has succumbed and lapsed in their vegetarianism:

As you can hear, anyone who presses 2 will be given the opportunity to record a message to Arby’s. While we presume these messages will be utilized in future creative, there doesn’t seem to be anything stopping, say, vegetarians upset at having their ethical choices mocked for the purposes of an ad campaign from leaving a message of their own.

Credits:

Brand: Arby’s